The Good, The Bad and The Hope

Sharing your life online is a lot of work. Every blog post involves so much work, from brainstorming, writing, taking photos, answering comments and emails, not to mention the introspection and emotional work involved in sharing yourself. It's been hard. But it can also be very therapeutic. Writing things out and reading them in black & white has helped me to see things a little bit clearer.

I haven’t mentioned on here lately about my health. You’ll recall this post. And while it’s good to have answers - I am no nearer to an acceptance or better yet an acknowledgement of my limitations. I keep pretending that if I work harder, keep trying, do more, I’ll just get better. 

It’s been a rough couple of days.

Who am I kidding?

It’s been a rough couple of months.

I try to do enough to keep things from sinking. But I just wonder if I’m doing anything well. I don’t think I am – doing anything well.  If I keep pushing myself to accomplish everything on my to-do list; surely that would fix everything.

Except that I know it wouldn’t.

Because the chaos isn’t from my circumstances. It’s inside me.

I might feel like I’m not doing anything well, but it doesn’t make it true. The fact that I have weaknesses doesn’t make everything about me weak. I have plenty of strengths.

The Devil loves to make us focus on the little that’s wrong so we miss the big picture of all that’s right.

One minute I’m determined to trust God. In the next, I feel myself slipping. The “why” questions tumble in so hard. My heart hurts. My eyes leak. And in those raw moments I just feel a little mad and a lot confused.

Ever been there?

I don’t want to oversimplify what to do in these times. We have to position ourselves to go where truth is - and keep talking to God. He can handle our honesty and will respond.

In the midst of whatever you’re facing, try to find simple things for which to praise God. I don’t mean thank Him for the hard stuff. I mean thank Him for the other simple, good things still in the midst.

It’s okay to feel a little mad and a lot confused. Our God is big enough to handle our honest feelings. But don’t let your feelings lead you away from God or away from His truth. Press into Him. Praise Him. And put yourself in the company of truth.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 {New International Version (NIV)} But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
 
As you stay with God in these ways, may you become ready to receive His answer when it comes.

Blessings