Halfway

Summer.

It's a time for slower schedules, long walks on a quiet country road, and being able to hit the snooze button more often. It means watching the acrobatic flower dance of a million honey bees and hummingbirds by day, and marvelling at the rhythmic lightning bug light show by night. It means listening to the harmonic blends of the neighbourhood songbirds and playing children, and also enjoying the orchestra of crickets, mourning doves, and coyotes.

It means being thankful for a soft summer breeze to stir the hot sticky air, and occasionally getting soaked by an unexpected pop-up rain shower. It means sunburns and mosquito bites and bee stings and poison ivy, but it also means the cool soothing goodness of aloe and calamine lotion. It means cannonball splashes and swan dives, raspberry picking and tadpole catching, and watermelon eating and corn shucking. It means impromptu drives to the beach, smelling the pungent sweetness of newly-mowed grass, and enjoying a fresh-off-the-vine tomato sandwich.

It's also a time for lazing on the front porch, sitting under the shade of the apple tree, talking around the campfire or relaxing in the hot tub. It's a time for cherishing family and time spent together. It's a time for remembering the past, savouring the present, and daydreaming about the future.

Summer. We're either halfway into it or it's halfway over. It's all about perspective.

Blessings

705

wowzer's, yesterday’s post was my 705 blog entry.

705!!!

wa-a-a-a-ay back in 2007, when a dear friend suggested that I start to blog, two thoughts went through my head. one; what will i blog about? and two; who will read it? obviously number one hasn't been too much of problem seeing as how i just posted my 705th post. number two, i've learned over that past few years, that yes, while i like to have people read & comment on my blog, i don't do it for that reason. i do it because i need to get my thoughts, ideas, hopes & dreams out of my head and on to paper, where it's concrete.
who would have thought that i would have posted this many entries. certainly not me that’s for sure. i never realized how cathartic it is to write.

i found this photo and thought it to be quite appropriate.

i really think it is important to write out our thoughts, ideas, feelings - it can be a gentle reminder to us of exactly where we are at in our day to day life. and can give us an opportunity recall times of laughter, be encouraged by God's faithfulness in difficult situations and feel a sense of comfort. we can revisit the joys and even the struggles in our lives and be reminded to take it one day at a time.

when i first started to journal i would write like i had a teacher reading it over my shoulder, constantly editing the grammar, spelling and sentence structure, also i would write as if it was going to read by someone else - all that really means is that while yes i was writing it just wasn’t honest writing, over the years and after a few journaling classes i have learned to write without editing and to be honest, because healing can only come if we’re honest.

thank you to all those read, follow and comment on my blog, your words of encouragement and thoughtful comments encourage me to continue. i appreciate the interest taken in my life and thoughts. blogging is something I enjoy doing. I realize that probably alot of it is not relevant to many, but for me, it's my way of getting all those ideas, thoughts, and opinions out of my head.

so faithful readers, i invite you to continue following me as i continue to blog and let’s see if we can get to 1000.

Blessings

Weekends

Our weekend are usually pretty quiet. I guess I should correct that and say MY weekends usually are, unless of course the kids come home - then it's non-stop busyness and laughter.  But sadly those times are few and far between.  On those weekends when I am alone, I tend to lounge around for the mornings in my P.J.'s, and spend the afternoon reading in the sun.  Farmer on the other hand, is always busy this time of year. With baling hay, combining wheat, mouwing {not sure if that’s how you spell it - but this is when it’s put it in the barn} straw, and of course hauling manure. Ugh! Tis the season I guess. Everywhere you go some farmer if not the other is hauling this crap stuff everywhere. I know I know, there is value in it. To farmers it’s brown liquid gold, enriching the land with the many nutrients, vitamins and minerals needed for next years crop. Hahaha, listen to me, I sound just like a farmer!

ok so what’s your point… ..mhmm.. . good question!

As I sit outside either here {gazebo} or here {new thinking spot} alone for the umpteenth time, I find myself thinking…. and realize that I love it out there er, um here, on the farm.  Of course there are times when I think to myself how nice it would be in town.  We'd be closer to the stores,  the park, the restaurants and for Wayne - Dairy Queen. 

But generally speaking, you just can't beat the quiet of the country.  So rather than being jealous of what I don't have, I am thankful - or rather tyring to be thankful for what I do have.

Blessings

so long.. .. ..

it's weird, you know, but as they were loading up that old car to take to the scrap yard, i had a lump in my throat.

it was not only kyle's first car, but also darcy's first car.  it seems silly to be attached to an inanimate object.  after all, it's only just a car, but ... .. {sigh} .. .. ..i must must sentimental.

how about you?  do you feel sad when you say good-bye to things?

Blessings

Take it easy on me

I say yes because it’s easy.

I say yes because it immediately eases the tension.

I say yes because I don’t want to let anyone down.

I say yes because I want to be supportive.

I say yes because I’m too wimpy to say no, even though a yes to something is sometimes a no to something better.

I've heard it said, “No may hurt for a minute, but yes can hurt for much longer.”

Especially when that yes goes against God’s plan and sucks dry my time and energy that would be better spent on His assignment for me. Especially when that yes also means YES to anger and resentment. Sometimes, saying no to a good thing is the right thing to do.

How do you say no to a good thing when you know it’s the right thing to do?

Blessings

Are you there yet?

I'm feeling a bit quiet these days, {has anyone noticed} like I'm in the middle of something taking root. I can't tell what is happening under the skin, under the words, under the conscious thought, but it seems that something is, and so I'm, I don't know, waiting, I guess.

In the last two years, I think I’ve experienced more change in my life than the previous 20. Well, maybe not quite. But I am not sure that I expected to be here. In fact I’m kind of hoping to be in a different place by this time next year. Each passing year brings an excitement but then I think “Where did I expect to be in a year’s time“? The answer: Well, not quite where I am right now. And now, where do I expect to be next year at this time? We sat on the front porch the other day and as I gazed at my husband I asked “did you ever think our life would be like this?” and typical male fashion he responds “like what?”

mmhmmhm

I can live with my lack of progress because life is more than a long to-do list. “Life is not a destination, but a journey”.

This isn’t a matter of painting a bulls-eye wherever my arrows land. I need to look at something bigger than my goals. Rather, I’m talking about the delicate balance of having goals and remembering the larger relational picture of life. With an empty next Wayne & I find our daily time of quality of life has improved. All in all, we’re doing fine, and that is something to be thankful for.

Since I’ve been off work since June, I’ve had a lot of time to evaluate decisions, re-evaluate choices and have had so many thoughts run through my brain it feels like it’s gone a half-a-marathon in itself. However I have reached no further conclusions.

I think I can get caught up in meeting all kinds of goals as well, craving certain milestones {physical, spiritual and emotional}.

Too often we focus on our lack–what’s missing.

For example, we complain about our lack of a vibrant, real relationship with God. We wish our church were bigger–or smaller. We wish we had a spouse. Or perhaps we wish we didn’t have a spouse. Or maybe we want to change our spouse. Or we wish we could get a different job, a different boss, or a bigger paycheck. We wish we had more interesting work, more sensitive coworkers, or different hours. We wish we could live in a different city, a different part of the city, or a different house. We complain about our furniture, our car, and all our other stuff.

To state the obvious, this is not healthy. And do we really think this complaining spirit will lead to better relationships or more abundance?

It can be frustrating to struggle with sin or to find that you’re not quite as far along in your Christian walk as you’d like, but we don’t move forward by setting a goal and then working on it without the relationship with Christ in place. I’m learning that the best way forward is not always what seems to be the most direct…
I’ve been determined this year to be more honest, http://havenlydaze.blogspot.ca/2012/01/2012.html
with you and more importantly with myself. It’s easier to put on the mask http://havenlydaze.blogspot.ca/2012/07/struggles.html and go about my day. But that too is not healthy.. I really want to be the me, HE created me to be and to live my life in with fullness HE meant it to be. We all want to be appreciated and yet we also need to show appreciation to others for what they already do. Imagine the impact you can have on someone simply by recognizing their value.

Question: Who will you take the time to appreciate today?

Blessings

First step

When I walk, I try to leave everything behind. Sometimes I’ll take my camera with me, hoping to capture the beauty that is before me - but since I am not very proficient at taking pictures - I tend to leave it behind as now it only keeps me distracted. In fact I don’t even wear a watch as I find that that too can be distracting. I try to use my time on the quiet country roads as an opportunity to process my thoughts, think through my ideas and to earnestly pray for the situations I find myself in. This well-spent time can help to put everything back into perspective.

I’m yearning how to walk like a believer, how to look ahead on the path rather than just at my feet. How to stop and to pick up the stones that are unique and catch my eye to watch as the birds flit through trees, to admire the vines growing over the stone pile. How to see, truly see.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this, there was a time when I would read the inspiring words other people wrote and I would think why can’t I write like them.? Why does it take so long for me to put my thoughts and ideas into words? Their posts seem to flow and their words come so easy. There are days when I struggle with what I want to say. I type it off and then hit delete more times than I care to count. Others make it look so easy. I'm a bit of a thinker and to be honest it takes me a lot of time until I can get my thoughts and words put together. In fact there are several posts sitting “in the que”, waiting ~ you see I am great at coming up with different titles to the posts, but then I need more time to process all my thoughts, to put the words together until they are just right and say exactly what it is that I need to express.

As I trundle along I tend to gather quite a collection of stones. Usually it’s the sparkly pretty ones that make the cut since my eye tends to be drawn to those. And YES! I do collect them. {you might find this post amusing.}

Anyway, my collection sits by the door in the house and as I walk by it each time I am reminded that stones like people have their own unique design and sometimes they need to be separated from the group to see the beauty that each of them possess. 

Each new day there another adventure of walking and stone collecting waiting; and all we have to do is take that first step.  Life is an adventure and we can either stay holed up in our house/selves or we can embrace the life given to us.

Blessings

Go your own way

Can you help me out with something? I’m trying to figure out who it is that decides what’s acceptable in society. Is it a single person, or is it a group of people? I need to know this because whoever it is making these decisions for society deserves a swift punch to the throat. And that’s putting it nicely.

In today’s world, there is a certain way adulthood is to be approached. If you’re “smart” about it, as soon as you graduate high school, you pick a career at the age of 18, and then spend the next four years in college learning all you can about your chosen field of study. Then, once you’ve graduated college in four years or less {IT CANNOT BE MORE THAN FOUR YEARS!}, you are to immediately find a job in said field, spending the next 40 to 50 years working and advancing in your field of study. Along the way, you also should have found a mate, produced 2.5 children, and bought a house in a quiet neighbourhood all while possessing many leather bound books that make your office smell of rich mahogany . It’s really all very simple. Except when it’s not…

I don’t hide the fact that I’ve never been to college. College wasn’t for me, and I knew that. Does that allow others to look upon me and my qualifications in a more negative light? Sometimes. Do I regret not attending some institution where higher learning was made available? Nope. Is my opinion slanted in support of those who prefer to take the time to figure out who they are as a person rather than blindly commit to a life in which they will be unhappy? Without question. I understand that some folks know what they want and who they want to be from an early age. But what about the rest of us? What about those square pegs that don’t fit in society’s round holes? Why must they be discounted simply because they’ve found a reason to breathe, and have taken their time in finding their own way through life?

I’ve said all of that to lead to this: don’t let someone else tell you what type of life you should be leading. There isn’t some massive scoreboard that says you have to be at this point in your life by this age, or you have to have this accomplished by this point in life. That’s just crap! Just because those around me seem to have found their way quicker than I have does not mean that I am falling behind. We each have our own path.  If you don’t want to go to college immediately, don’t. If you’d rather work for a few years to figure out who you are and what you want out of this life, then do that. Ultimately, it’s your life to lead. Be what you want to be, do what you want to do, and do it on your own timetable.

But I hear you asking, “how long will it take”?
That’s really what most of us want to know. “How long will this take?”
How long will it take to get ‘the’ job?
How long will it take to experience creative freedom?
How long will this take to become a success?

What you’re really asking is “When can I stop working this hard?”  or “When can I go on to the next thing?”

Unfortunately, the news I have to share isn’t easy to swallow. . . just when you think you can see the ‘finish line,’ you realize it’s not a race you’re running at all.  Life's a journey, not a destination.  The secret is not to give up when you think you should have been done by now. {The moment when you desperately want to stop is when you’ll look back and see the break through that changed everything.}

Who am I to offer life advice? No-one really. But since I’m about halfway through my life I’ve started to realize that in the end, we all must continue to trust in the one who has chosen our path for us. In Jeremiah 29:11 New International Version (NIV) it says:  “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  Only we can decide what will make us happy, and what will fulfill us to the point of contentment.

Find your path, follow HIS way; you’ll be glad you did. I know I am!

Blessings

The day after

The day after everyone left I found a sad little puppy, resting under the table.

I kind of felt like that too.  Don't get me wrong, it's absolutely wonderful having all the "kids" home.  Unfortunately, once they all leave again, the house just feels so empty.  Eventually we'll get used to it being just us again.  So until then, we'll just sit here being thankful for the time we had.

Blessings

Whirlwind Weekend

Weekends usually pass by in a bit of a blur. And when Kyle is home it seems to go by even quicker; since the whole family gathers at the farm. Such was the case this past weekend.

With campfires, games of aerobie & kubb, and spending time at the beach we immensely enjoyed each and every Kodak moment!

Some days it's so hard to believe that all our kids {including the one that married into our family} are all grown up and on their own.

Darcy our youngest is a Line Cook and Night keeper {which also gives him his room & board} at the Little Inn of Bayfield. 

Krystle our oldest and only girl is the Centre Director at the Exeter franchise of Herbal One.  Her & her husband Gerard live in Exeter.

Gerard our son-in-law is a Tool & Die Maker and works full-time at Hi-Tech Welding in Exeter.

Kyle our middle child just finished his second year from Georgian College in Orillia from the Police Foundations Program.  He currently is still in Orillia working on a construction crew and as a security guard at The Tux nightclub, also in Orillia.

I was reminiscing earlier today, about how quickly the times have changed.  It seemed like only yesterday, that I was a full-time stay-at-home mom with three little people.  With meals that had to be on schedule, laundry was always piling up and alot more demands for my time.  To be honest there are some days when I could wish that time back.  Unfortunately, that's just not possible so I am learning - yes still learning - to appreciate our times together, whether it's only for a day or for a whirlwind weekend.

Blessings

Chasing Brave

“Without fear there cannot be courage.” ~ Christopher Paolini

Do you consider yourself brave? How do you conquer your fears? Or do you live a life sometimes paralyzed by "what ifs" and/or worry?

What would you do if you knew you could not fail?

Seriously, WHAT would you do if you knew you could not fail?

At the top of my list you'd find base jumping, parasailing, and helicopter flying, all related to my fear of tumbling through space to a painful death of mangled limbs and paralysis for life heights. This is one of those things I'd change about myself if change was as simple as willing it or wishing on stars.

But it's not.

Sometimes I'm a fraidy cat.

A question I often ask when making important life decisions is;

Do the advantages outweigh the risk?

My 45th birthday is later this year.

I think that's the first time I've written it...and though I've struggled to mention my age since I turned 29 oh so many years ago, it feels strange clicking off my fingertips, seeing it in writing.

It seems important at this season in life to ask that question--What would I do if I knew I couldn't fail?

On one hand I like the question; it compels you to DREAM BIG. But I think I prefer a different question: What will I regret not trying at the end of my life?

This isn't a faith in God thing for me. It's not about trusting him in the here and now for salvation, eternal life, forgiveness, redemption {I do}; although I believe he's wired me the way I am, and, any victory is a result of a Kingdom work in me.

But practically speaking, I'm learning to conquer (non-height-related fears) by asking a simple question:

What's the worst thing that can happen?

I try to consider all the possible different scenarios, trying to imagine the Very Worst Thing that can happen, and {SNAP} the paralysis is cured.

I'm able to live ~ fully live ~ in and then through the moment.

And, you know what? The Very Worst Thing has never happened.

I'm working on a bucket list; not necessarily to do before or while I'm 45, or even before I am 50, but a list of things that demand me to step outside my comfort zone, learn something new, challenge curiosity and convention, live more simply, see with new eyes. Take risks.

Will you lend me your imagination?

I'd love to hear your suggestions for my bucket list.

And I'd love for you to answer either question:
What would you do if you knew you could not fail?
What will you regret not trying at the end of your life?

Blessings

Struggles

We never talk about our struggles.

It’s true.

Most of the time, people are not who they seem to be. We tend to walk around with perfect, plastic, pretentious smiles, presuming to others that our life is practically perfect in every way. Thinking that others will be offended or disgusted when they see us for who we really are; we tend to hide behind the mask.

It’s smiles, laughter, a short temper, an indifferent attitude or acting clueless. We show whatever type of face or attitude that will keep the demons away. The mask is a lie, you may think that hiding your pain is helping you live but instead, it is holding you prisoner.

Here’s a scenario that I think everyone can relate to: someone in your life hurts you. It could be physical, verbal or emotional. When it’s over, they walk away without apology or regret. Because they don’t care, you refuse to forgive them. That unforgiving attitude turns you into someone else. You lash out at people with your tongue or even your fists. All the while, the person who hurt you is walking around without any thought of you whatsoever.

Does this sound familiar? God wants to heal your wounds. Jesus died on the cross so that you could be free from bearing that pain alone (Isaiah 53:5). If you’ve never read the Bible or it has been a long time, here are a few people you need to become acquainted with: The woman at the well, the Samaritan woman, the woman with the issue of blood. Their wounds weren't evident to others, except Jesus. Their belief in Jesus healed the source of their pain.

If there were a spiritual GPS, we could locate your spot in the desert. Imagine you did so with me and I said, "This place is my identity forever." You'd shake your head and say, oh no, you're on your way to the Promised Land! This is just a temporary stop!"

Living with your pain is not God’s will. He wants to heal your mind, body and soul through His love and your faith that He can do it. This doesn’t mean that the pain goes away all at once. Sometimes physical pain can stay with you as a lesson through your life to others who are suffering. God’s love can turn difficult circumstances into something that can benefit your life and give Him glory! Many bitter people are holding on to hurt, hiding behind the mask they've created. Giving up the pain you have hidden for so long means you are opening yourself up to the possibility of more pain. But, God won’t hurt you. Let His healing wash out the fear and bring you back to life once again.

Dr. Seuss wrote "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." This quote can help you gain the confidence you might need to take off your mask.

We all wear masks at one time or another.  Tell me; what is it in your life that you need to be healed from so that your mask can come off?

Blessings

Country Girl

There is just something about country living. Growing up in a small town I would have never thought it possible that I would become a country girl. There are distinct memories of me walking around my Grandpa S’s dairy farm with my fingers stuck up my nose to reduce the smell of that wonderful "dairy air"!

Too often we get caught up in the busyness of life that we fail to notice the beauty that's around us; often just outside our own doors. When the kids were little I was fascinated by their fascination of stuff - the bugs that crawled, the flowers, the baby kitties, the calves running in the field, and the list goes on... .. . .. At some point along the way I've allowed to many other things to clutter my mind and have therefore lost focus.

But sitting out on the deck tonight, watching the wind blow through the soy beans, hearing each crunch of the gravel announcing the arrival of guests driving in the lane and as the birds chirp their praises to God; I realize you just can’t beat the quiet of the country.

We've been blessed to have been able to raise our family on the farm which has been in Wayne's family since 1927 and to continue to live out our lives here.

Since our property is on the corner, we only have one neighbour and with 15 acres separating us, it's pretty secluded around here. Which lends itself to give us the quiet, the tranquility, and quite possibly the best view around.

Blessings

The maze called LIFE

Ever feel like you're living your life in a maze?

Walking along not sure which way to go, turning left or right not knowing if it's the right way. You either end up at a dead-end or it's another turn and you continue guessing which way to go.

We make decisions everyday in our lives. Some are easy, others, more difficult. How do you make decisions? Do you write out the pros & cons? Do you ask a friend's advice? Do you flip a coin? Pray? Seek advice from family & friends?

or do you turn to the good book and read: Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6 & 7 {New International Version}

Every day, we make hundreds of decisions. Most are so mundane that we don’t even think about them.

Like:
* should we get up when the alarm rings or hit the snooze button a few times
* what to have for dinner
* what to wear to work
* coke or pepsi
* which bathroom stall to enter

You get the idea ... decision-making is a common part of everyday life.

Are you like me and search the Internet with "decision making" in the Google search bar and make your decision after reading articles on how to make decisions?

What do you do when you have trouble with making a judgment and arriving at a decision?

Blessings

Summer Reading List

It's been said before that I am a reader.  In fact, that instead of cleaning, baking, mowing the lawn, dishes, laundry, and the list goes on, I would rather sit and read.  Whether I am in the gazebo or just sitting in the sun,  I enjoy my time reading. 

It's fun going to the library and getting new books.  I also look up new authors and books on the Internet.  While searching through the title list one day I came across several different authors using the same title.  So out of curiosity, I decided to borrow all those books and read them.

Book 1 {bottom left}
Hope has it all: brains, beauty, and acceptance at Starwood, a prestigious arts prep school. A mere sophomore, she has won the lead in Romeo and Juliet, beating out seniors for the role-seniors who have been in movies and on Broadway! And with handsome Logan as her Romeo onstage and off, her life couldn't be more perfect.
So why would this talented teen throw everything away? Why would she fake her own abduction? Hope wants to explain what really happened, and gradually the truth comes out: Maybe her life wasn't that perfect after all.
In her first novel for young adults, national bestselling author Jacquelyn Mitchard takes us into a world where appearance is everything, and nothing is exactly as it seems.

Book 2 {top left}
The perfect life
A successful lawyer and loving mother, Nina Bloom would do anything to protect the life she's built in New York--including lying to everyone, even her daughter, about her past. But when an innocent man is framed for murder, she knows that she can't let him pay for the real killer's crimes.
The perfect lie
Nina's secret life began 18 years ago. She had looks to die for, a handsome police-officer husband, and a carefree life in Key West. When she learned she was pregnant with their first child, her happiness was almost overwhelming. But Nina's world is shattered when she unearths a terrible secret that causes her to run for her life and change her identity.
The perfect way to die
Now, years later, Nina risks everything she's earned to return to Florida and confront the murderous evil she fled. In a story of wrenching suspense, James Patterson gives us his most head-spinning, action-filled story yet--a Hitchcock-like blend of unquenchable drama and pleasure.

Book 3 {top right}
"Devon is dead, Marcy."   "You're wrong. She's here."
When Marcy Taggart goes to Ireland after divorcing her husband of twenty-five years, a chance encounter catapults her entire life into turmoil. Years earlier, her daughter, Devon, disappeared in the icy waters of Georgian Bay after a canoeing accident, her body never recovered. But on a day trip to Cork, Marcy is certain she spots Devon walking down the street. When her daughter disappears into a crowd, Marcy begins a desperate search to find her - and to uncover the disturbing truth that might, in the end, be her only salvation. Exhilarating and engaging, this is Joy Fielding at her best - delivering a pulse-racing, tension-filled read.

Book 4 {bottom right}
When artist Paris Sweeny starts seeing ghosts on the street, guessing the Jeopardy answers before the clues are shown, and making street lights turn green every time she approaches, she thinks her life couldn't get any stranger. Then she goes into a trance and paints a graphic murder scene the night it happens. When she starts painting another partial murder scene, she finds that the only person she can trust is Richard Worth, the wealthy and powerful ex-husband of the woman who has made Sweeny's career as an artist successful.

So that's the start of my summer reading list. I would definitely recommend any or all of these books as I enjoyed reading each one. You can be sure there will be more to come as summer continues.  Stay tuned!

Blessings

Grand-Puppy

We've been puppy-sitting, Bentley, for our daughter and her husband this past weekend, while they were away.

And it's taken until today for Sasha {our dog} to get used to having him around.  For the most part she had ignored him and did her best to keep away from him.  But finally, last night and again today, they were playing and chasing each other all over the yard, around and around until I got dizzy and then they both flopped down in the shade beside each other.

It reminded me of the song Disney's "The Fox and the Hound":
When you're the best of friends,
Having so much fun together,
You're not even aware you're such a funny pair,
You're the best of friends.

Blessings