be-YOU-tiful

Something inside me still feels a little hollow. Just a wee bit off. A little lacking. The mystery of wanting to be filled but not knowing how or what could fill the deep soul can be troublesome. A search that can seem both futile and shattering at times. Empty is a heavy load to bear. So, I reasoned I needed something else to do. Something where I could use my gifts and talents.

When you try and try, always feeling like the answer is just around the corner, and then it isn’t, it can rip your heart wide open. It can make you feel unsatisfied and frustrated with everything. So you fake a smile and keep putting one foot in front of the other. But eventually you stop peeking around the next corner hoping the answer is there.

The truth is, I’m tired. Or perhaps more honestly it’s that I’m uninterested, and self-centered, and I forget what it feels like to enjoy my life. I thought I was back on the mountain top - only to find that I am still stuck in the valley. And now, I’m floundering. I’m overwhelmed with what are my responsibilities, and everything else that contributes to making a good home.

And then, at some point I realized that I heard Jesus whisper this to my heart…
Your work is not your worth.

I’ve been focusing too much on the 'what I do' ~ or lack there of ~ not the 'who I am' to determine my worth.

 

Do Less Be More

It’s a phrase that’s over-used and under performed but I can’t think of any other words that make better sense.

Lately, I’ve been wondering a lot about what exactly I want out of these run-of-the-mill days I lead. What is it, that I expect?  Is it unrealistic to want to spend my days focusing on enjoying my family, making a home, reading in the evenings, baking up a storm, getting out into the community, having tea with my friends, and living? Truly living a life fully alive for the glory of God.

Tell me then, “what does that look like.. .. .. .. .. exactly”?

Blessings