Emerald Eyes

I keep taking pictures out of my back door but none of them turn out the way I see it. The way I feel it, with my own soul eyes. So I stop trying and just sit for a while trying to memorize the way the branches arch up, heavy dense snow piled up on each thin strand. Not a breeze to disturb it, the glow from the rising sun, the other-world-ness of distinct calm.

I envy those who have that gift. The ones who take pictures and you can f-e-e-l the moment. My cousin Sandra is one such person. Several years ago, she started her own photography business and has photographed hundreds of weddings {including our daughters}, newborn baby sessions, engagement shoots, family portraits and with each one she totally captures the essence of the occasion.

Envy/jealousy is such a primal feeling! Like hunger striking, or fear, anger is so quick and present when it appears. You can’t take it back. It’s just there, all ugly and messy, yet so basic. There are endless scriptures that frown upon envy. But one that always tames my envy beast is:

Romans 12:6 "In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well". New Living Translation (NLT)

Sometimes we need to recognize the things we want and realize that it isn't ever about what we want but what we need. And that is what God gives us! He provides us with everything.... everything we need! Sometimes we need to realize that all the things we feel jealous of will not bring us enjoyment of life, but only Life from God can we enjoy all things.

I will be honest here, I can be and have been a very jealous person! Traits of envy are anything but admirable. It’s a nasty habit and does not reveal a gentle and quiet spirit. It reveals a little girl drowning in her own insecurities who does NOT know her worth. I must keep moving forward. I curse you, green-eyed monster.

Blessings