It all starts with the vows: we stand up at our weddings and recite those vows fully expecting that we will happily stand by each other, no matter what. We have big dreams about the life we’re starting with this person we love so much. Every marriage starts with big hopes and dreams. You walk down that aisle celebrating all the beautiful ways you connect as a couple, all those little moments of excitement and joy and intimacy and fun and love and goodness that have been the building blocks of your relationship. And for a while, those hopes and dreams and joys are enough to carry you through the adjustments of marriage.
With the health issues I’ve been struggling with ~ I had asked Wayne the other day if he’ll always love me and take of care of me no matter what and his answer was probably the most romantic thing he ever said ~ he told me that when he said his vows he gave his word to me and that no matter what, he is a man of his word.
It reminded me of these words:
When I said I do, I meant that I will
Til' the end of all time
Be faithful and true, devoted to you
That's what I had in mind, when I said I do
from the song “When I said I do”, that Clint Black and his wife Lisa Hartman Black sing.
And over time, we’ve learned that you don’t get to a place of understanding and compromise easily. You have to fight through your own opinions, habits, and perceptions. You have to learn to be humble and to endure the chaos on the days when your pride is just too big to swallow. You have to risk being wrong. You have to struggle through that uncomfortable period of learning to do things in a new way.
And after twenty-six years of marriage, I understand why. It’s hard work that usually yields the most fulfilling results, and getting through the hard parts of a relationship feels just as good ~ if not better ~ than those first days when everything seemed easy.
Blessings
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