Panic

“Ok - promise me you won’t freak out” are the words my son says to me the other day, and all I can think of is: “W-H-A-T?!? are you kidding me of course I’m going to freak out” but what I actually say is “o-k-a-y, sure, so what’s going on?” to which he repeats “don’t freak out, ok?”

Why is it when we’re about to give bad news to people we hesitate or we try to prepare them by telling them that even though I’ve got bad news, everything is ok. Um, hello, if everything was ok, then why are you telling me not become alarmed.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I have a tendency to panic which according to dictionary.com is: a sudden overwhelming fear, with or without cause, that produces hysterical or irrational behaviour.

Yep, that’s me alright.

As I hear or experience any type of trauma, my mind leaps ahead to worst case scenarios. Like the one time when my husband was late one evening and I have him dead and the funeral all planned. Or when I can’t reach my son on the phone and I think he’s passed out because he lit his gas stove and the noxious fumes have filled the room. Or, how about the time I am home alone and I hear a weird noise so I lock myself in the house constantly looking out the window for any intruder. Or, well, anyway I am sure you get the idea. Wayne thinks it’s because I watch to many movies or read to many books that have these type of stories in them and then I find myself thinking through all these crazy ideas.

I tend to be afraid a lot. In fact, I tend to limit the opportunities that are offered to me because of fear. I’ve often thought about writing a bucket list {which is basically a wish list of things you want to do before you die} to help me overcome my fear, but then I’m afraid I’ll only let myself down cause I won’t be able to cross anything off because there are just too many things that I am afraid of.

And then I gently remind myself of this: John 14: 27 {NIV} Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Blessings