Who am I?

What do you do? It’s a common enough question. And it seems like the answer should be easy enough. And yet… it doesn’t always feel so simple. Many of us struggle with answering that very question. Especially those of us under 50 and full-time at home.

Every so often, I admit to having a little identity crisis. 

I’m not any one thing, no expert of any one skill. I hold no professional title. I possess no degree in a specific subject. If I were to be listed in the yellow pages, it would be unclear where to place me.

I didn’t go to college. I didn’t spend years studying something for me to do with the rest of my life. I became a mom at 19 years old. Became a mom 2 more times in three more years. Got my high school diploma 10 years later.  I took some classes for computers back when the only time you touched a computer was in a class, or if you were lucky in an office with a computer.

It can be hard to know what our purpose in life is.

Many of us search for understanding of why we are here. We search for our sense of identity. It’s no small thing to understand who we are. Yet, often the world’s definition of our identity can be very different to the real reason that we were made to be here. The world uses our status, our careers, our homes, our looks, our possessions all to define who we are as people. But that’s not what makes me who I am.  I want to live my life being the woman God wants me to be.

God has a plan for my life. He had a plan even before I was born.  I want my life to be about being the woman God wants me to be not about my status {or lack of it}, career {or lack of one}, possessions or my appearance.

The truth is we are more than what we do. We are not just one thing. Which is where the struggle comes in. Some days I feel at peace with who God created me to be and other days, I want to crawl in the nearest hole. I’m easily overwhelmed by the demands of life and constantly battle the inner voice that tells me I’m doing it all wrong. But I’m learning to stop listening to that voice ~ the one that whispers accusations and causes me to doubt what I know is true.

I am “fearfully and wonderfully made.” {Psalm 139:14} I don’t need to fit into any mould to please God.

I’m Anita, a girl who loves to write just because she loves to write.  I’m allergic to popcorn, but I keep eating it because I have zero self control. I click my nails to my teeth when I’m stressed. I’m nearly deaf in my left ear, thanks to a combination of less-than-stellar genes and my affinity for loud rock ‘n roll during my rebellious teen years. I worry near-daily that I’m not giving enough weight to this life, that I’m not doing what I “should” be doing.  I read too much, don’t clean quite as often as I should and drink just the right amount of Zinfandel on the weekends.

I’m a work in progress…

“Our purpose is to please God, not people. 

He alone examines the motives of our hearts.”

1 Thessalonians  2:4b {New Living Translation {NLT}}

Perhaps you know what it’s like to struggle to fit in??? 

Take Care