Still being honest

I hesitate as I write this, though, because isn’t this a tired conversation? Haven’t we exhausted this concept already? Are there still honestly ways I hide from you and the world and my husband? Is there anything left to explore? But I want to be real!

My circle of friends is small and those who really know me are few. But they are there and they are listening and I am thankful. I’ve grown in my ability to be honest with people I trust. I think it’s because of time and grace and being loved anyway enough times. I’m learning that they don’t want to see me lined up pretty with pastel cheeks, picket fence smiles and covered up secrets. They just want to see me.

We tend to show the world our prettied up versions, to say we’re fine even when we’re not because it’s safer or maybe we’re just lazy. I still struggle with this one, circle around this word honesty, wrestle with how the meaning changes for me as I get older. I’ve talked with lots of women about this and there is always the argument that sometimes when people ask how I’m doing, they don’t really want to know. And I’d have to agree with that.

I’ve been writing more honesty and digging deep within myself - have you noticed? - and let’s be honest here it’s been hard. I mean gut-wrenching, heart-rendering, and downright hard. But ooh it’s been g-o-o-o-d too. I’ve been exposing things some of which are not so nice, but that’s what being honest is all about right? Being honest?

Even after all you have read and heard and know about being honest, is it still hard for you to practice? If yes, what makes it so and what would make it easier?

Blessings