i got up, had my tea and made a list of things to attempt accomplishing today. puttered around a bit. handled a few phone calls. ate some breakfast. read my devotional. had a nice rambling chat with my daughter. organized some of the craft room and while down there, did some laundry. paid some bills and organized some paperwork. ran a few errands. answered a few emails. checked facebook and instagram.
you know, i start out well, but as the day wears on i usually run out of steam before i get everything done.
i have good intentions. but i am just sooo tiiirrreeedd alllllllll the time!
throughout the day i’ll remind myself: “it’s okay that you can’t do that today. it’s okay to leave the dishes ‘til tomorrow. it’s okay to say no.” i need to listen to what my body is telling me and try not to be too hard on myself for struggling.
my illness has brought so many changes to my life that, let’s face it: they are neither pretty nor easy to live with.
do you know how many times a day i have to consciously give myself grace? a lot. like, A LOT, a lot.
i don’t know about you, but sometimes i just have plain old “bad” days and i can’t seemingly do anything right. it’s exhausting and hard to stay motivated.
i have felt stuck in a rut lately. and honestly, i feel like giving up.
i want my life to matter, to have meaning and purpose, in my roles as wife, mom, gigi, daughter, and friend, and how i spend my time.
sadly, i’m feeling a little lost these days…
yet, i believe that God does have a plan and a purpose for me… and while some days i try desperately to figure it all out on my own, i need to remember, my job is to seek Him. and trust that He is working it all for my good.
take care
2 comments:
For two years I'd say that was what I felt like and then I can't tell you when things changed but they did. I still have days but I found something I like doing and now I can't wait to be up to start doing it. I hate to say it but I think it was partly an age thing to.(Blah lol)
I agree with Debra, age can play into the feelings at this stage, combined with your illness, you got hit double, right? I can also say that when I found a purpose for this stage and something I love doing, things changed for me as well.
The verse I hang onto is, "The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me." (Ps 138:8) .. even when it's been a very small thing.
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