from the kitchen sink

from the kitchen sink a massive amount of overwhelming thoughts all collide in a little space. with my feet planted, hip twisting and body bending, suds foaming, water running, fingers wiping, i'm washing, rinsing, drying, re-loading. always repeating ~ day in and day out. my mental to-do list rising with the suds as i meet my sink, the list grows ... dishes, sweep, scrub, pick up, organize, dress, change, throw away, gather, replace, shoes, keys, snacks, car, call, return, remember, reflect, don’t neglect, chat, check locks, get checks, lip gloss, close door.

from my kitchen sink i think about so much. i gather so much of me there. i feel the frustration of not having accomplished enough, i see the endless counters to wipe down and desk overflowing with stuff. all my issues seem to rise with the water filling our crock pot now crusted with last nights meal, thoughts and fears bubbling over. and the mess never seems to settle... clean back splash, take out trash, did i say too much, did i say too little, i shouldn’t have sent that email, why am i so annoyed, what if she never replies, where did the time go, why do i still care, shake out the rug, did they even notice i wasn’t there?

from my kitchen sink i am forced to stay, forced to feel, and find myself in all my messiness. recently the stirring of my inadequacies have grabbed me and held me captive by all the things i am not. i chase down my faults trying to fix them, my mind dizzy with so many places that need mending.

and at my sink when i so often fantasize about achieving, i suddenly stop, shaking hands free of suds, i look out to see what always makes my heart stop, acres and acres of open fields, and my heart hears, “there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:” exhale. and i can stop fighting my insecurities and neurotic need to fix myself and everything around me, everything in me.

behind my sink, i stand and stare into my surroundings, and realize that i am blessed!

blessings