Are you there yet?

I'm feeling a bit quiet these days, {has anyone noticed} like I'm in the middle of something taking root. I can't tell what is happening under the skin, under the words, under the conscious thought, but it seems that something is, and so I'm, I don't know, waiting, I guess.

In the last two years, I think I’ve experienced more change in my life than the previous 20. Well, maybe not quite. But I am not sure that I expected to be here. In fact I’m kind of hoping to be in a different place by this time next year. Each passing year brings an excitement but then I think “Where did I expect to be in a year’s time“? The answer: Well, not quite where I am right now. And now, where do I expect to be next year at this time? We sat on the front porch the other day and as I gazed at my husband I asked “did you ever think our life would be like this?” and typical male fashion he responds “like what?”

mmhmmhm

I can live with my lack of progress because life is more than a long to-do list. “Life is not a destination, but a journey”.

This isn’t a matter of painting a bulls-eye wherever my arrows land. I need to look at something bigger than my goals. Rather, I’m talking about the delicate balance of having goals and remembering the larger relational picture of life. With an empty next Wayne & I find our daily time of quality of life has improved. All in all, we’re doing fine, and that is something to be thankful for.

Since I’ve been off work since June, I’ve had a lot of time to evaluate decisions, re-evaluate choices and have had so many thoughts run through my brain it feels like it’s gone a half-a-marathon in itself. However I have reached no further conclusions.

I think I can get caught up in meeting all kinds of goals as well, craving certain milestones {physical, spiritual and emotional}.

Too often we focus on our lack–what’s missing.

For example, we complain about our lack of a vibrant, real relationship with God. We wish our church were bigger–or smaller. We wish we had a spouse. Or perhaps we wish we didn’t have a spouse. Or maybe we want to change our spouse. Or we wish we could get a different job, a different boss, or a bigger paycheck. We wish we had more interesting work, more sensitive coworkers, or different hours. We wish we could live in a different city, a different part of the city, or a different house. We complain about our furniture, our car, and all our other stuff.

To state the obvious, this is not healthy. And do we really think this complaining spirit will lead to better relationships or more abundance?

It can be frustrating to struggle with sin or to find that you’re not quite as far along in your Christian walk as you’d like, but we don’t move forward by setting a goal and then working on it without the relationship with Christ in place. I’m learning that the best way forward is not always what seems to be the most direct…
I’ve been determined this year to be more honest, http://havenlydaze.blogspot.ca/2012/01/2012.html
with you and more importantly with myself. It’s easier to put on the mask http://havenlydaze.blogspot.ca/2012/07/struggles.html and go about my day. But that too is not healthy.. I really want to be the me, HE created me to be and to live my life in with fullness HE meant it to be. We all want to be appreciated and yet we also need to show appreciation to others for what they already do. Imagine the impact you can have on someone simply by recognizing their value.

Question: Who will you take the time to appreciate today?

Blessings