yes, er, um, i mean no

the other night, i wrote an e-mail that most may consider a piece of cake.

for me, it had taken months to push me to this point where i hesitantly raised my hand and said, “i can’t anymore.” so i sat in front of my screen, line blinking in the big white space, my heart pounding and waiting for words.

in a way, i think i felt like a quitter. mostly i didn’t want to disappoint someone.

once i sent it though, despite my fear, there was an immediate relief of knowing my plate wasn’t as full as before. my no was a needed step.

for more reasons than i can list, i’m beginning to see a proverbial line form in the sand. i even wrote it in my journal this morning: i feel the line being drawn and i’m wondering when the answer will appear – which side will i be found in the end?

at what point will i need to cross?

i don’t even know the answer. {this is what bugs me the most}

feeling the urge to say yes to the no’s – the releasing of things once important but now an added pressure. good things. beautiful things.

but not my things.

in letting go, i’m embracing more of who i am – more of who He’s made me to be for the world. i’m opening my eyes to brand-new possibilities and resting in the certainty of right now.

and i’m learning that no – despite the fear – is okay.

have you ever said yes to no?

are you needing to right now?

Blessings