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Have you ever really considered what kind of emotion your house causes to rise up in you?

I finally gave it some serious thought after we returned home from a two week holiday. As we drove in the lane way and the house came into view, it really got me to thinking about this home. For years, more than I care to admit, I did not like my home. We bought the family farm and I moved into the "in-laws" house. I wanted desperately to enjoy living here. I wanted to be happy at home but I couldn’t be. For years the walls that separated us were made up of more than sheet rock and two by fours. I didn’t like her. I didn’t find her beautiful. She was a nuisance. I tried painting her; added my own flair with new furniture and decor but my feelings didn’t change. I was holding grudges against her. You may find it odd to read that but if you truly ponder it you may find that you have felt the same way at some point too.

It is a true statement that your home is a reflection of you and your innermost being. That means that if we are to ever love our home, enjoy her presence, and see her as the beautiful but imperfect space that she is then we have to change some thought patterns and deal with our emotional baggage. I know it can be tough but it is so worth it.

The first couple of years that we lived here I actually felt as though I was just a visitor with some closet space. I didn’t feel at home. Everywhere I looked there was just one more thing that I needed to change to make this house feel like mine. The kitchen with it's too low counter tops; the panelled family room that made me sad because I didn’t have a say in choosing the colors but yet I had to make it work. I didn’t think this house was “my style” either. I had issues and I blamed my house for them.

The reflection my home gave was of my emotional struggle.
I was the driving force behind my not feeling “at home” here.

With that in mind I set out to change and when I did, so did my home.

The process I took was to go room by room and change it so it was a better reflection of who I was. I slowly dealt with all the negative feelings I had towards the way it was decorated. As I dealt with each room I started realize that I was envious of the memories that these walls had had without me. I couldn’t believe some of the things I was holding against my house. Silly I know.

That’s when it hit me that homes have a persona whether we want them to or not. I saw my home as my enemy. Time and change gave me a new perspective on the ol’ girl and I’m thrilled to be able to share that.

We assign the value to our home. We interpret the character, history and charm.

Even if you don’t have much say in the style or colors of your home you can love her. Sometimes the walls that need to come down so a home can be beautiful aren’t necessarily the ones that are on the floor plans. That realization helped me to create my surroundings and not let them create me.

Blessings