Pair of Nines

I sit here
solemn and quiet with no music or laughter filling this space.
No more Christmas lights twinkle
giving us a delicate reminder of what’s to come.
Everything was put away yesterday.
 
And it’s quiet.

I’m not feeling great
and wonder if I should stay at home today
but then I shake my head
to clear that thought
and say
Suck it up! Charge Ahead!

I try
to suck it up
to do the daily routine
to meet expectations
I must try to function
or at least pretend
Does anyone see through me?

My insides scream
“I can’t function!”
Yet here I am.

Juggling everything that’s needed to maintain what you call a normal life,
knowing deep inside me that
I. Just. Can’t.
I can’t do it all and you know what?
Neither should you.

We all have our own set of limitations
a set of cards we’ve been dealt to live with
and while I've been given a pair of nines,

you're holding a royal flush 
making there no way for me to compete against you.

But
God is here
always up for a chat
and He loves me
exactly as I am
exactly this minute
and He sits with me
and comforts me.

And in a few moments
or maybe a day or two
it just might
be better.

So I sit
knowing that today
“The Lord is my shepherd;
I have all that I need.
Psalm 23: 1 {New Living Translation}

Blessings