Beloved

I’ve watched that Dove video about women who think they’re uglier than the world sees them countless times. And as the tears streamed down my face, I totally got it. But that doesn’t mean I don’t get weirded out when people say positive things about my looks. Because I do. Every. Time.

Am I the only one?

We know that our worth does not come from how we look, or what we do. We go to church. Read and study scripture. Bookmark Christian websites. Pen our faith in our journals. Proclaim it with our lips, in our homes, and even online. It’s too important to forget, yet remembering is so hard.

Why…is.. that…?

Is it simply that knowing with your head doesn’t equal believing with your heart?

We see the talents of others and stamp them Better. We compare ourselves to family, friends, even strangers and assign them a greater value because they’re doing something we cannot, will not, have not or may not even want to do!

When it feels like everyone around you seems to be achieving greater successes; or doing greater things; or enjoying the blessing of great marriage or having children or finding the perfect job; or maybe it seems like you don’t have any talent whatsoever, nothing unique to offer … whatever it feels like …

It’s not about what you do or don’t do, say or don’t say, or even how you look ~ God doesn’t love you any less or any more.  He simply does and it is enough!

We. Are. Beloved.

I presume you know these things but sometimes we need to be reminded.

 

Blessings

Four letter word

I hate the word busy.

I’ve learned the hard way that over scheduling myself with a packed day is not only counter-productive, it’s a horrible way to live. I don’t like for my schedule to be 100% full. And, I have gotten myself into situations where I invited trouble that just didn’t need to be there. Especially in the area of saying yes to something when I know I should say no.

I know with my mind I should say no. I know with my heart I should say no. I know deep down in my soul I should say no.

But then my mouth will betray me, and say, “Yes, of course I will do that.”

And then?
I feel the weight of overload.
I am afraid that I will disappoint someone.

Here’s what I keep reminding myself of:
Just because I can do something doesn’t mean I should do it. Maybe, before saying yes to one more thing on my schedule today, I should ask myself…

Am I trying to prove something?
Am I trying to impress someone?
Have I thought through the cost of saying yes?

I don’t want my life to be so overscheduled that there’s no time for the spontaneous. I don’t want to miss out on opportunities for God to lead because I scheduled away our availability.

I’m constantly reminding myself that saying no isn’t a negative thing, that it can be one of the most positive choices that I make.

When’s the last time you said no with intention?

Blessings

Shine your light

We’ve been spending time with the grand .. … . puppy that is. ... .. while our daughter and her husband are on much needed get-a-way up North with friends at their cottage. Needless to say having two dogs in the house is a lot more busy than having only one. But it’s been fun. Busy, but fun! Adding to that too, is the fact that I also worked at the centre for 9 hour days the past three days; making me realize again that I am not cut out for work. It's been busy, fun, nope just busy! But if it helps them out I’ll do it.

Giving our kids a hand every now and then is something we enjoy doing, whether it’s puppy sitting for Krystle, moving Kyle ~ again {in the next few weeks, this will be move #6 in the past 3 years!}, helping Darcy clean his apartment, working for Krystle, baking desserts for the boys or having laundry service available for them, and the list goes on. .. .. .. after all isn’t that what family is for? It’s a value that my parents instilled in me. Shortly after we were married my dad would come to the farm and “help” with everything and anything needed and in fact just the other week, my mom was here helping me turn bushels of apples into applesauce. .. ..

I think it’s important to help each other out. Maybe it is mundane at times, but maybe that’s only because I’m not thinking about it with the right attitude. The one of grace. It’s easy to get caught up in our lives and not realize how much impact we can have on the lives of other. A little thing can go along way. After all, it takes just a few minutes, to do a kindness for another person. It can be something small or the start of something big. But putting a smile on the face of someone is one of  the best gifts.  

Life can often be difficult, we all know this, but if each of us remembers to help one another, we’ll be doing our part in making life a bit more enjoyable for everyone.  There aren’t a lot of things you can do that can match the feeling you get when you help someone in some positive way.

Matthew 5:16

{New International Version (NIV)}

“In the same way, let your light shine before others,

that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”

Shine your light and let the whole world see.. . .. . … ..

 

Blessings

Psalms 23:1

Psalm 23:1

New Living Translation (NLT)
 

The Lord is my shepherd;
I have all that I need.

{photo credit - Annaliese ~ For everything a season}

 

I needed this reminder today - how about you?

 

Blessings

Checklist

I am a list person. When I know I need to get things done, I ask myself what has to be done that day, make a list of those things, and get to work. In fact these days, since I am just so exhausted, I need a list to get anything done. It helps to give me some sense of accomplishment to see that, yes!, I actually do contribute around here.

I know a lot of people who function this way. Sometimes it’s not even a written checklist, but a mental one instead. This needs to be done; that needs to be done; and so does that other thing. And we plan and schedule and plan some more.

We don’t just do this with our days, though; we do this with our lives. How many of you are guilty of this?

We mentally tally everything we should do, and have a timeframe by which to do it. We’ll graduate college at 22, get married that same year or the next, have kids two years later. Now that her kids are out on their own she should be working.

But these checklists? This “should” mentality? They aren’t healthy. Because not only do they frame our shoulds for our own lives, but they project our shoulds onto other people’s lives.

If we all should graduate college by 22, why is she still in college at 25? If we all should be married by 25, why did she wait until 30? And if we all should have kids within a few years of being married, why has she seen her seven year wedding anniversary pass without even announcing her first pregnancy?

When we draw these lines, we draw compassion and understanding right out of the stories God has given us. When we point fingers and say someone should be doing a particular thing, we point grace and empathy right out the door.

I don’t want to do that anymore!

I’ve doled out my own fair share of shoulds. She should’ve stayed single for more than two hot seconds instead of jumping into another relationship. She should’ve stayed silent instead of saying that to that person. She should, she should, she SHOULD.

I don’t want to do that anymore!

This generation of women has seen a transition from a time where women were expected to fulfill a cultural checklist to one where we have permission, so to speak, to forge our own paths. We’re faced with decisions that we wouldn’t have been blessed with only a few decades ago. And instead of basking in that freedom, we’re still wielding a checklist, and we’re continuing to measure women, including ourselves, by that standard.

We don’t have to do that anymore!

We don’t have to measure ourselves by a standard of shoulds. We don’t have to measure other women by a standard of shoulds. In fact, we don’t have to measure anyone by a standard of shoulds.

And we shouldn’t.

Because the only thing we should be doing is living lives for His use, filled with His grace, poured for His glory.

Blessings

Viva la Friendship

What determines friendship? Some of the women we see every day we would no sooner call our friends than fly to the moon. Then there are other women that we have just met and there's something there you can't define. Something inside clicks. We can't specify it ahead of time, but we know it when we feel it.

Most of us aren't looking for just any friend. Life is too busy, and we don’t carve out time for anything that doesn't impact us. We are looking that special person with whom we can pour out our hearts. A safe place where confidences are held carefully. Girlfriends bring out so much in us, they understand us, cry with us, shop with us, laugh-`til-we-pee.. . . ..

Friends that claim to always be there for you, as you are for them, but never seem to be around when you actually need them - are not good friends. You need to believe in their actions, take the blinders off and see things for what they are.

Then do something about it or not.
Seriously, you can accept empty words and promises from someone you care about. Just know that there will probably be no follow through and getting angry or becoming sad at the situation is a waste of time.

People will show you exactly who they are, by their actions. They will also show you exactly what you mean to them the same way. Actions speak louder than words. For words without action become meaningless. Be sure to follow through on promises, do what you say you are going to, be the friend you claim to be. If you keep getting angry and hurt, but continue to let it go, well then what does your actions say to them?

Live with integrity and expect it from those you surround yourself with.

Maintaining a friendship is tough. It takes a lot of work, planning, and thought. And so if you feel like you’re the only one making the effort, it’s important to consider how much the other person actually values the friendship.

True friends are a gift from God. They love us, laugh with us, comfort us and encourage us. And be mindful, friendship is a two-way street.

Viva la friendship!  

Blessings

A new month

As I turned over the calendar, today, to the new month, there was that one moment, when all I felt was deep apprehension.

Why?

mmhm good question.

I really do love the 1st day of each month! It's a chance at a fresh start ... again! Too often I get caught up in the fact that new chances or changes can only happen on New Year's Day. It makes me think that I have to stay in the mould or rut I am in because it's not a ‘new year’, only a new day. But that's just it isn't it. It IS a NEW day. We're given a fresh chance everyday to become a better person than we were the day before.  It seems like only yesterday we were on the brink of summer with its slower schedules, warmer weather, and now, here we are already halfway through it.

While we still had kids at home this time of year meant spending our days; playing outdoors, biking, going to the park or to the beach, having campfires, sleepovers, staying up late, bbq dinners, enjoying min-vacations - like Marineland without being governed to the rhythm of a clock.

How quickly the years go by.

We no longer have kids living at home and therefore no one will be heading back to school, resulting in no need to go back to school shopping, nor do we have to get back into the routines of, well, routine. Since I am no longer employed my days won't change a whole lot, and yet. ..

Why then, this apprehension .. . …

This summer was quite different from the previous ones. With the decline in my health I was limited to what I could do and knew that I needed to slow my life down even more. So I took more time to sit, more time to rest, spent a lot of time reading and soaking up the sun, made simpler meals, accepted help from others and learned to let the little things go. .. ..

It takes me time ~ a lot of time ~ to put these ideas together. I typically need uninterrupted space, for hours, to really sort things out and put them together and string words into phrases and meanings.

Me? I love writing. I love reading. I absolutely adore being home, by myself, with my computer, rationalizing and thinking and mulling over ideas and pieces. But lately, I've been struggling with the way I define myself.

“Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit,
and resign yourself to the influence of the earth.”
~ Henry David Thoreau

Time passes by so quickly, so enjoy each of the moments you find yourself in because one day it will just be another memory. Change happens all around us everyday; we can either embrace it or reject it, it’s up to us.

Blessings