Unique & Complex

You know sometimes, I want to just feel sorry for myself. I want to stay in the house, surround myself with no-one and have myself a little pity party. A place where I can sit and think about all the injustices done to me and remind myself over and over and over again just how unfair things have been.

I think ~ oh, poor me. I didn’t have this. I didn’t have that, I was robbed, I was cheated, or even more likely. .. .. .. .. … I don’t have this, I don’t have that, and I definitely don’t want this portion. Life is so unfair!

Oh, poor me.

But then the big girl in me says, “Hey, snap out of it!”

And I remind myself that because of all the things I didn’t have, all the memories that aren’t ideal, all the mistakes that have been made, all the experiences ~ whether they were good or bad and all of the challenges I faced and continue to face each day ~ have made me into the woman I am today.

All of it!

And most days, I like me, except when I’m whining, about oh, poor me!

Blessings

On a good day.. .. . .. .

On a good day, I can take my dog and easily walk 5k.

On a good day, I can get a load or two of laundry washed, dried, folded and put away.

On a good day, I can make nutritious, sumptuous meals.

On a good day, I can get the house tidied and even cleaned.

On a good day, I can run errands.

On a good day, I can work away at the business books.

On a good day, I can wash, dry and put away all the dishes.

On a good day, I do not suffer any pain from my illness.

On a good day, I feel like I can accomplish anything.

Today, however, was not a good day.

Blessings

Viva la Winter

Ooooh ~ the weather outside’s been frightful but the fire is mhmhmm delightful and since we’ve no place to go, let it snow, let it snow, let it … .. . ... .. WHAT?!? Wait a minute - it isn’t Christmas anymore! But what a pile of snow we have and it is such a welcome sight . .. yes, I know, I was just in Jamaica ~ but . … . .. . ..

As I was chatting with a friend the other day she called me a ‘snow lover’ I am not sure whether she meant it as a compliment or not ~ I am thinking not ~ but I’ll take it as one regardless. I love the snow, in fact I love each season that we in Canada are blessed with.

Spring with it’s length of daylight rapidly increasing, weather is warming significantly, time of growth, and renewal. During the Summer our days continue to lengthen, getting hotter and drier and for those in school it means a reprieve from all studies. Autumn with it’s rich vibrant colours showcasing the true beauty of it’s season. The time of year we celebrate all our hard work from the spring by harvesting our crops. And last but not least Winter, with it’s crunch of the snow as you walk, the clean crisp air, the magical view of the world all in white. Sure they are pro’s and con’s to each season. I don’t like the mucky rain weather spring gives us, sometimes the heat in the summer can be overwhelming, and the fall with it’s evenings getting shorter and shorter, and of course winter with it’s snow filling the roads making them impassable to get anywhere. But after spending 12 days in the Caribbean ~ which didn’t feel like January cause it was so warm ~ I realized how lucky we are to experience our 4 seasons.

Two weeks ago I was wearing my bathing suit and today I sit here with long underwear on under my pants, two sweaters, woollen socks, slippers and I’m still cold.

Viva la winter!

Blessings

Jamaican holiday

After uploading the photos from our recent holidays, I sat at the computer reviewing each and every one and thinking to myself - why are there so few photos from our 12-day holiday in Jamaica? 

In fact, there are only 29 photos ~ that’s not even 3 pictures a day. Was it, that I forgot to take my camera with me? No. Did I forget to take pictures? Obviously, no. Was it that we didn‘t do anything? Again the answer is no. Was it that we’ve already been to the Caribbean before and I already have pictures of the beach, the pool, the restaurants, the bar, Wayne playing volleyball, me sitting by the pool? No ~ well maybe. Could it be that as I was about to take a photo that I had to quickly run through my mind whether or not I can come up with a blog post title? YES! That’s it!

So I sit here looking over my photos and while they do bring back the memories of our stay, I do kind of wonder what I was thinking as I took each one. To be honest I am not a photographer ~ I have an idea in my mind’s eye of what I think it should look like and it almost always, never turns out the way I want it too. My camera doesn’t seem to capture the ambience of the scene. At least I have a digital camera, giving me the option to preview any photos before the printing process. It seems that many photos are just not print worthy these days.

So, of the 29 photos that I did take, let me share a snippet of our Jamaican holiday!

The Lobby

 The Courtyard.

 A flower in the garden.

The Evening Show.

The Pool.

 The Beach.

   Walking the Beach.

Our initials in the Sand.

Embarrassing I know!

Blessings

To encourage you

Just a few words of encouragement!

You are beautiful, you are worthy, you deserve to dream, you hold life in your hands. It’s okay to choose you! It’s okay to shine! Give yourself permission to be, who you were meant to be. Go confidently towards your dreams.

Blessings

Boundaries

Sometimes, I have to say no. And while it can be extremely difficult ~ it’s important for me to do so.  It’s being true to what I am really feeling.

So I say no ~ not today ~ not now ~ I’m sorry, I can’t. But then I struggle with the guilt, it washes over me and floods my thoughts.

Ugh!

How can I say no?

They need me, need my help, need my service and maybe need God through me.

So the thoughts keep spinning that I’m just being selfish and would it have really hurt me to drop what I’m doing to add more to my plate? Would it have really hurt me to give one more afternoon because people give to me and so shouldn’t I give back?

All that I have?

All that I am?

But then I remember what I can be like when I don’t take care of myself. The tailspin that can create the emotional withdrawal, the physical decline. 

Setting boundaries and establishing limits makes me MORE able to help, more able to be present, more able to be me in those times that are appropriate. And that dear friends is the woman who they were asking for in the first place.

Blessings

A new month

I love the 1st day of each month!

It's a chance at a fresh start ..... again!

Too often I get caught up in the fact that new chances or changes can only happen on New Year's Day. It makes me think that I have to stay in the mold or rut I am in because it's not a "new year", only a new day.

But that's just it isn't it. It IS a NEW day.

We're given a fresh chance everyday to become a better person than we were the day before. Living out our lives day to day can be pretty monotonous; doing what we've always done. Why is it then, we are so astonished to get the same end result as before? Seems kind of obvious, doesn't it? If you want different end results you need to make some changes. But what to change? Where to start?

Another Chance by Helen Steiner Rice

How often we wish for another chance
to make a fresh beginning.
A chance to blot out our mistakes
And change failure into winning.
It does not take a new day
To make a brand new start,
It only takes a deep desire
To try with all our heart.
To live a little better
And to always be forgiving
And to add a little sunshine
To the world in which we’re living.
So never give up in despair
And think that you are through,
For there’s always a tomorrow
And the hope of starting new.

A new month ... .... .. a new beginning .. .. .. a new opportunity!

Blessings